The Lofty Ambition

There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world. It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher. –Henry Van Dyke-

In mark 12, a teacher of the Torah asks Jesus what the greatest commandment is. Within Jesus’ response lies a statement and ideology, famously quoted in and outside of church circles. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The thought in itself is appealing, to the very heart of humanity. The hippies during Vietnam, the “green” movement against global warming, the classic beauty pageant response of “world peace” shows us in general, the world desires to better. The remaining action after these thoughts can be halting.

All too often, we get caught up in daily life, myself being guilty. In order to combat falling down the gully of self-preservation, I say yes. Yes to others, and no to my selfishness, yes to favors, yes to people, yes to time invested. Here in Romania, my days are filled. Over the past, almost three years daily life and activity has changed more often than I could have kept track. Currently it’s developed into a balancing act. I serve my local church most evidently by volunteering as a barista at Bookafe for upwards of 30 hours per week. In the past half year, my time has expanded toward the fight against human trafficking. I serve as a photographer and journalist when Abolishion has local events. Outside of that, my time is with people, serving and creating together connections and community to see God’s grace in real and personal modes. Whether that time is spent praising, painting, or photo taking depends on when and where the needs are. Although I usually arrive at my apartment late and exhausted, I love it. God has grown my heart beyond what I thought was capable, and my love for people is expanding everyday. Helping in the smallest ways, my pointed “yes”es help to raise others a little higher. As others see and experience the love and tenderness of grace, the world gets better. And I get to enjoy with others, the newfound level in the greatest good.

Afresh: Seasons and Perspective

Wind: strong persistence perfectly balanced by calm passion. Bare skin bitten from wrath; yet ears detect soft whispers while eyes behold how the seasons are ushered according to their time. The Creator is so; gentle and mighty, directing perfect peace and chaos with the guidance of His eternal hand. Father, let us not forget Your temper as to be stung, but to bask in Your ever-present compassion.

Working at a café definitely has perks and I treasure the memories I make volunteering at Bookafe Oradea.  Presently, I am still traveling the journey of learning Romanian and my colleagues are picking up more English as we spend time together. Győngyi is a mother of two boys, wife to a construction worker-turned-bike-repair man, and is the kindest, most servant-hearted woman one could meet. Her attitude is continuously positive and joyful and her patience seems to know no end, a trait to which I am very grateful. 

Just the other day, she ran over to me at the bar expressing her excitement over the song that was playing on the radio. Telling me to listen, because it was my national anthem. I listened, expecting to hear about flags, pride, and bombs bursting in air, but my ears were met with a sweet melody declaring a testimony of God’s mercy.  After a bit of confused silence, I recognized the song to be Amazing Grace. The moment I realized this, I burst out in laughter, and quickly explained the mix up.  And we both continued, laughing at small mix-ups, enjoying the day together.

Later that night, reflecting on the day’s events, I began to entertain the idea of Amazing Grace at an anthem. What if, as people, we took pride in God’s work and hand in our lives, instead of our country, or perhaps worse, ourselves. All too often, my thoughts are full of my own abilities, or lack thereof… When my time is much better spent basking in the revelation of our Creator. How much grander are His plans than our own. Since then, my joy has been fuller, and my patience deeper. I know that there is still a lot in my heart He wants to help me with, but I know that nothing will get done without His help. I challenge you to do the same, let yourself be overcome with thoughts of Him and see where it leads you. Allow that wind to carry you into your next season and expect Him work, because He will.

Glimpse at Sonrise

A little glimpse to tease your eyes...

In June I will have officially been here for two years. My heart is to return to San Diego for the summertime and spend three months there. Spending quality time with friends and family, all the while sharing the wonders God has worked.
To date, I have yet to purchase my ticket home because I lack the funds [being a missionary doesn't pay much, but it's worth it] So, if you feel led to join in either the work I am doing here or donate towards a sabbatical home, visit <https://www.mogiv.com/rockmissions/sierrametzel/> whether it be ten dollars or ten thousand, God uses and multiplies it for His Kingdom!

Nothing Without Him ...Everything to Him

I don't know how to give an answer to questions about "my life as a missionary," but I realized recently this is because it[my missionary life] is the norm for me. Some days I get to "serve"in ways that are more frequently accepted to be the "purpose" of a missionary, but these are not the days when I see God the most. Living in community, going through ups and downs, frequent prayer and worship, coffee, connections, crying, laughing, dancing, grocery shopping, and simply being with people and joining in life together is what pushes me forward. Are we not, as Christians, called to partake the body of Christ together with the Body of Christ?
As Christmas is fast approaching, my mind has been thinking on the time passed. Just over a year ago, as a team we started attending Viața Nouă , a small church that functions in a coffee shop. All I remember puts a smile on my face, much has changed but still holds a similar shadow from 2012. I recall how joyous and full I felt after simply taking an order from a table in Romanian or remembering someone's name. This year, I look around and know so much more. People's faces beam bright with memories from the foundations of relationships, times spent praying, and sometimes silly inside jokes.
Perhaps I am not alone in this, but I'm what I like to call an "energy snatcher" when I am around people, I gain energy and can go for hours [if I go too long, I start getting a tad bit cooky]. In short, I love being with people, no matter what is going on, I love it! Sometimes I think God is the same way, He loves people, being close with humanity lifts His heart and seeing His children purposely avoid Him is crushing. Everything He thinks towards us is good and His thoughts outnumber the sand! How deep and how pure His love is for each and every one of us. But not everything has to be a huge "spiritual experience" in order to be with Him. He wants to just be, and not make a big deal out of it. He is I Am, He just is. Nothing crazy, just simplicity. The big deal for Him is time with us. As holidays approach, our To-Do List grows and I stress the importance of inviting Him in it. Not your daily scripture reading or meal prayer, but more than that. Allow Him into everything, He knows your heart, He knows your joy and your pain. My eyes see a glow as I look to the familiar people around, knowing that through time and friendship, Christ has been present. Time with Christ and people will add that same light or sparkle to your vision as well.

I see Him everywhere; He sees me through everything.

Extravagant Simplicity

Perhaps it is just me who complicates everything my eyes see; but I have a feeling it is related to the pre-programed human condition. When I hear about a problem, or watch somebody do a task, an idea comes to mind on how to improve the situation logically; so every action is therefore backed by thought-out support and theoretical reason. Needless to say, I have the bad habit of trying to think through ife instead of seeking out what God is doing. [Although, when I do hear from Him, I know what to expect, and don't question further.] But the rest of time, I try my best to "fix" the world or figure it out, all by myself.

The last month has brought a multitude of change for our team here in Oradea. God pulled us away from the ministry we were doing in Sabolciu and placed us into a period of waiting. Being the problem solver I am, of corse I tried to figure out the reasons why and what I could be doing in the meantime [because I can't just be still]. The Thursday morning God told us to step away, I'll never forget. I remember sitting on an old, half-wooden couch, placed on the west side of the room. I had a comfy peach sweater on and a blue pen in my hand. Next thing I knew, I was crying and rapidly writing down all my emotions and thoughts towards one girl in the village. Quietly praying Larisa could understand my first letter written in Romanian, God brought to mind a flash flood of memories. Just brief glimpses, all just a few people, sitting close, talking, sharing life, and loving God. I realized that those pictures, those times, those moments were everything that matters in ministry. God doesn't stop moving in people's lives because certain programs aren't present. Or even certain people. God moves, and He does so in very intimate and personal ways. So what if I don't have an easy answer to what I do as a missionary here; over the past month, I have begun to witness the deepening of relationship all around. As I make drinks in the coffee shop, God is present and answers prayer. The other day, I was walking out the door to visit the bank across the street, and ended up in a friend's car and spending the day together. Never before have we spent so much time with the people at our church. People have been inviting us over for dinner and fellowship and we have the time to say yes. To say that we aren't too busy for them. And little by little, as we share in life and encourage each other, God knits our souls together and draws everyone closer and closer to Him. Too often my mind is occupied with everything I want to do or plans I have for serving, yet even in that, God distracts me away from how big and complicated I desire everything to be and brings me back to relationship. If we begin to realize how important relationship is to Him, life becomes simple. We begin to see His work naturally appear around us. I know I can safely surround myself in His extravagant simplicity because of how well He guides.

Naturally Replinished

 
Have you not known? 
Have you not heard? 
The everlasting God, the Lord, 
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor grows weary. 
His understanding is unsearchable. 
He gives power to the weak, 
And to those who have no might He increases strength. 
-Isaiah 40:28&9-

Just as snow melts to increase the strength of the rivers that provide life to the trees, the Lord increases the strength of His followers when the weary world around them needs watering. I recently found myself in a rut as the new year has started. The young girls I have been meeting with in the village stopped wanting to get together. So I used that time to deepen relationships with other families in Săbolciu that I hadn't gotten to know as well. But as time continued without them meeting, my mind kept brainstorming on why this was happening and my heart seemed to grow in compassion and desire to draw them once again together and to God. Since coming here last June, I haven't played my banjo nearly as much as I should have. A few weeks ago I was taking a walk to pay the team bills. On my way into town, it came to me that perhaps I could bring something to act as a healthy incentive. As a team, our heart has been to bring the gospel without giving away unnecessary and non-lasting items [i.e. food packages, or clothes, basically anything they have become accustomed to getting from past missionaries]. I agree that the idea of "bribing" people to Christ is not the path that the Holy Spirit uses in hearts. So I was praying, asking God what exactly could be an incentive for them to begin coming again. Then I got the answer that I didn't want to hear, banjo. I had toted this instrument all the way across the globe just to hang it up on my wall; the most useful it had been was while traveling; I stuffed the case full of books I couldn't part with. Even though it had been months since I practiced, that Tuesday I strapped it on my back in faith that God was doing something. Yes, of course I was afraid, a little about the kids being crazy and some more about playing in front of any type of audience.

This is Emma, Janina, and Larisa together today

Once at the village, the few kids outside came running up to me, showing off their best air guitar skills. After I tried to inform them that the instrument what not in fact a chitară, but a banjo they looked at me strange and for the most part walked away disinterested. Not a problem, I came here for an older audience. So I went into Larisa's house and sat down to talk with her and her family for a bout 45 minutes. Then her dad [or maybe uncle, older brother, you never know?] asked about my chitară. Next thing I know, the banjo is sitting on my lap and I manage to pick out How Great Thou Art and half sing/ half forget the Romanian words. They were silent. My heart was immediately on it's knees praying that I hadn't offended anyone and end up kicked out of the village for blaspheme or something. Then they each smiled. Crazy to me, Romanians don't seem to smile about much, let alone gypsies. They liked it. Not long after, I went to another house and all together we sat singing to God and praying. Since then I have taken the banjo almost weekly. This last time, seven adults and four kids crammed on the two sofa/beds and everybody got their chance to lead a song [basically hold the banjo while they sing]. In this circumstance, gypsies seem to not have a fear of looking silly or not being perfect; everyone sings very loud, no matter the pitch or if the melody is correct. But it doesn't matter. God loves it still. He takes joy in every little bit that we hand over to Him. Every part of our lives is vastly important to Him and precious. Granted, not everything is perfect every time I go to worship, in fact, it never is. Just when I was feeling overwhelmed with all the kids grabbing at me, or my banjo, or its case, I looked up to see tears in the eyes of my friend Simona. Even in all the chaos, God still worked, He spoke directly to her heart, exactly what she needed to hear. The courage and gumption of the girls in Săbolciu to sing with all their might, or play an instrument they have never heard of before has taught me to not care as well. Playing the banjo brings me joy, and it definitely needs improvement, but I am going to have fun. Knowing that all joy flows directly from God, I can honestly say that He is glorified when my heart exceeds with gladness. As a result of learning this, I also played alongside Amy one night for worship, and have been playing at every opportunity since then. Praise to Him for renewing me with His strength every time I ask for more.

Săbolciu: The Happenings

Oh, the Winds of God are blowing                       

                                 So keep your sails unfurled

And the Winds of God will take you                 

                   To safe harbors of the World.

Forever they’re in motion            

          To take you where they will

Forever full of power          

  If there are sails to fill.

So take the helm, be master    

                  Unfurling sails your part

And the Winds of God will take you       

                                 To safe harbors of your heart.

~Nellie Lincoln, 1901~

As you might have imagined, I have now settled in Oradea. Don't think for a minute that because it has literally been half a year since I last posted anything that God hasn't been moving. So much has happened, I must have 15 or more unfinished writings, but finishing them would prove frivolous now because much more has developed in every situation. Even still, I will try to catch you up.

Fall in Săbolciu

Summer here was much hotter than I anticipated. So hot and sticky, nothing I was used to in San Diego. Then huge thunderstorms thought they should join in the summer fun. One minute would be deeply hot and sunny, then the air would swirl around you as lightning lit the sky and water drops began to dance on your exposed skin. Not soon after, summer began to fade into fall, with a clearer skies and crisp winds. The leaves here were gorgeous, so many colors ruling the sky then wafting in the winds of change down to carpet everywhere your foot trod.            
    Then came winter, with a fresh, yet short kiss of snow. Before coming here I had heard that last winter, in 2011, was the worst winter in Oradea for 40 years. Given that, I expected  to be frozen and dead by Christmas, but perhaps God was just watching over this SoCal girl.  

Lidia and I in the village; first snowfall

Ministry in Săbolciu has resembled the changing seasons and the specific weather they has each brought in turn. Summer was a happy and oblivious time for me. I was going to the village and playing with the kids, doing whatever I could to shine love, yet blissfully unaware to the darkness that reigns there. I look back remembering all the ideas that were misguided due to my lack of experience here. Now, I can see more, and God is constantly uncovering the veil of the village and revealing the hearts of people there. Some days many people will gather together for church, and some days only one lady and a bunch of kids will be there. One can never know what exactly to expect before stepping foot inside and witnessing what god has planned for the day. Of the adults, mainly women come and participate on Sundays and during the week for Bible Study. I have taught myself a few Romanian worship songs, now I weekly gather a group of teenage girls together to teach them about worship and God. Also, my team has been holding a young mens' group to help inspire them towards Christ before the bad lifestyles have taken root. Some of my team still bring friends as translators throughout the week. But for the most part, we can communicate. I may not be able to say everything I can in English about God, but I know that my românește skills are growing. God still works and communicates through love, relationship, and heart, not being held back by communication differences. 
Thank you for all your prayer and support! Next update will be about life here in Oradea, please comment any questions you may have, or something you want me to write about so that I have more ideas. Te iubesc!